skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I don't know any more..I feel like shit all the time now.. And it feels like nothing can make it better.I've been trying my best to not think about her.. I think im doing alright.. I don't really know if i want to be with her at all.. Friend wise too.. Its just to difficult trying to deal with everything.. and just worrying about what shes doing, if she'll talk to me.. or ANYTHING like that.. its just heartbreaking and i don't like it.. i feel like dying inside.. and it hurts.. I just wish i could be happy.. being single.. But after those 11 months.. i can't stand to be alone.. I didn't really like being alone from the start.. From the start ive always been looking for someone to love.. Someone who can help me through my life.. But not baby me.. Just be there for me.. And talk.. and i don't know. i just need someone right now.. I know everyone says 'There someone for everyone' I agree.. but its not going to be happening anytime soon. I just hope i find her soon.. i don't want to be alone for that long..
Bah, I don't know anymore.. I'm soo.. depressed.. so sad.. I think its because I'm lonley. I don't like it, I never did.. Then seeing Jon and Arlene together.. *sigh* I miss being held.. And holding someone.. Like nothing else in the world matters but the time we spend together..
Wow, last night.. It was different, and i liked it..At first the beginning of the night was a bust.. But nearing the end, sitting down and talking to old friends.. I loved it. Just saying whatever i wanted. Nothing ruined that moment. I might be a little o.O .. but they did cheer me up. Nothing could have fone better that night. Well the talking part at least.They are such beautiful girls.. I almost had a chance to be with one of them.. but.. *sigh* didn't know what the heck i was doing. Besides they are both taken.. I talked to them about Charmagne and I. . They understood everything.. *sigh* i hope something like that could happen again. I barely thought about her. I happy i didn't. And i hope it'll be like this from now on.. I think that its either her brother didn't go with them.. or shes just lying to me about everything..but if thats the case.. its her fault.. she could have told me.. but really .. right now.. i don't give a shit. because if she wanted to talk to me, then she could have txted me or anything.But whatever. I'm doing good right now.. i hope nothing ruins my mood.
