June 30, 2008 Part 2 8 o'clock

I don't know any more..
I feel like shit all the time now..
And it feels like nothing can make it better.
I've been trying my best to not think about her..
I think im doing alright.. I don't really know if i want to be with her at all..
Friend wise too..
Its just to difficult trying to deal with everything.. and just worrying about what shes doing, if she'll talk to me.. or ANYTHING like that.. its just heartbreaking and i don't like it.. i feel like dying inside.. and it hurts..
I just wish i could be happy.. being single..
But after those 11 months.. i can't stand to be alone.. I didn't really like being alone from the start..
From the start ive always been looking for someone to love..
Someone who can help me through my life.. But not baby me..
Just be there for me.. And talk.. and i don't know. i just need someone right now..
I know everyone says 'There someone for everyone' I agree.. but its not going to be happening anytime soon.
I just hope i find her soon.. i don't want to be alone for that long..